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Eluding this Eternity by ~darkillusi0ns:icondarkillusi0ns:





To feel through my fingertips,
The warmth you harbour in.
My soul ignites, although wading in darkness,
Burning through eyes once dimmed.
Travelling freely throughout my body,
Overcoming my blistered disposition.
Suns gone down, but the temperatures still rising.
My sense of mind faded; I shall not retort.

=Ashes to ashes; thoughts molded, yet I still feel this way.

Keep burning, I'll tell you.
Give me continuous heat.
A passion that's yearning; fufilled with the need.
To be burning inside you, searing so strong.
An ongoing measure, to forever belong.

To feel in my life again,
A want to take substancial air in.
My lungs expand, as I breathe deeply, sharply-
Eluding the emptiness I once held within.
A sense of wonder overcomes me.
A rush of embers through my veins.
Moon radiates somber silence, but my pulse eradicates
Reinventing my sleepless nights,  peace not to be contained.

=Through wakened subjection, my answer will remain the same.

Keep burning, I'll tell you.
Give me continuous heat.
A passion that's yearning; fufilled with the need.
To be burning inside you, searing so strong.
An infinite cycle, desperately trying to belong.
©2005-2009 ~darkillusi0ns
:icondarkillusi0ns:

Author's Comments

I just wrote the first couple paragraphs...and thought it should be longer, so added some more junk.
Its kinda...in a way a love story, about finding your place where you feel, erm, happy? Sure. Why not.

Comments are really loved and appreciated. Rip it apart, or tell me what you like. Constructive criticism is my favourite. Come on people!

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icondaveeg:
I love the repetition, and the poem is visually pleasing, though some parts of it dont sound quite right, like the use of "sustantial" before air. But overall a great pice. Good job.
:icondarkillusi0ns:
I was iffy about having substancial in there. The only reason I added it in the first place was to make that line, and the matching line from the first paragraph be more of the same length. But that didn't work, and I ended up taking out stuff from the first. So. Yes. I might fix it, because I don't like it much either. Now I'm blabbing on. But thank you davey, as well as for the lovely favourite :) You rawk.

--
"My knuckles have turned to white, there's no turning back tonight- so hold on tight. Kiss me one last time- shut your eyes..."
- It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door - Underoath
:icondaveeg:
No worries. And it sems msn has died for no apparant reason, so goodnight.
:iconkagomeresurrected:
this is pretty nice :) a wee different from your other works...
i like the repetition
<3

--
*********
*KagomeResurrected :heart: @summaro :heart: *KagomeResurrected

sammich :faint:
:iconforpostingpurposes:
me likes it lots mandi! wuv woo!
:iconbrowneyedsuicide:
i like it very much you can tell that you put lots of thought into it and that it took a wile maybe cause you actually care about what you were saying it was awsome!!
:iconhopefulletdown:
That is an amazing piece of work Mandi! I love it, and the imagery is awesome. I am so favouriting it!

--
haven't you heard that i'm the new cancer? i've never looked better and you can't stand it.
:icondarkillusi0ns:
MSN is a whore. Problem solved. :)

--
"My knuckles have turned to white, there's no turning back tonight- so hold on tight. Kiss me one last time- shut your eyes..."
- It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door - Underoath
:icondarkillusi0ns:
Sank you Tiffy! ^^ Wuv woo too, wow...that's so Scooby Doo.

--
"My knuckles have turned to white, there's no turning back tonight- so hold on tight. Kiss me one last time- shut your eyes..."
- It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door - Underoath

Details

April 27, 2005
1.5 KB
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